THE DISAPPEARING ADAB

My eldest is into her second year of housemanship, leaving behind a year of tumultuous life, if you could consider it being a ‘life’at all, that is. No, I won’t delve on the intricacies of its hardship as it is all so notoriously known. I am sharing with you the current sad state of many young muslim doctors, who have conveniently abandoned the adab of associating with colleagues of opposite sex during work or otherwise. Sadly, it seems they have adopted a lackadaisical attitude in this issue; slapping each other playfully, making indecent jokes etc. It’s as if, these rulings don’t apply once they enter the professional realm.

By western standards, once a girl gets a job, she would automatically become self-sustaining and live a separate life of almost total oblivion from her parents. In Islam, we know this should not be the way. We (hubby and I) have imposed a ruling on our daughter, to inform us of her whereabouts each time she plans on going out of the hospital vicinity and alhamdulillah , she is comfortable with and has been abiding by it till today. Also, permissions have to be asked if she plans to go out with friends. I know many would be aghast by this and many of her friends have voiced their disapprovals, “Come on, you’re already 25! You don’t need parental consent to go out!” To this, I told my daughter, “Tell them : As long as you are not married, your welfare is you father’s responsibility and you are answerable to him till he gives your hand for marriage”

Recently she related to me that a male colleague chummingly asked her to join them to the movies and when she answered that she has stopped going to the movies and even when she did, it would be with her brothers, he retorted back in an almost disgusted tone, “You are so boring!” To which my daughter replied nonchalantly, “Yes, I am. So what?”
My response was: It’s better to be ‘boring’ in this world and not in the Hereafter!

Once, she was out with a girl colleague and unknowingly to her, the friend had invited some male colleagues to join, much to my daughter’s chagrin! When they were deciding a place to eat, she narrowed down all suggestions as we always reminded her to eat in only registered Jakim halal eatery. For this, she was mortified and literally humiliated as they laughed and looked down on her choice of venues to eat. After the incident she has ticked the girl friend off and warned her not to repeat the blunder again!

To all my friends out there, whose children are about to step into the world of housemanship or any other profession for that matter, you can never be too excessive in reminding them of what awaits them out there. You may have provided them with the best of Islamic values but the day to day exposure to the rough and tumble of working life may weaken their ‘shield’, make them forget their real purpose in life and lead them astray. Nau’zubillah!

ALLAH SWT berfirman:

Dan jangan lah engkau menurut orang yang telah Kami lalaikan hatinya dari mengingati Kami, lalu ia mengikutkan hawa nafsunya.” (al-Kahf: 28)

ALLAH berfirman lagi:

Maka berpalinglah engkau dari orang yang tiada mempedulikan peringatan Kami, dan ia hanya menginginkan kehidupan dunia semata-mata”. (an-Najm: 29)

ALLAH berfirman lagi:

“Dan ikutilah jalan orang yang suka kembali (bertaubat) kepadaKu.” (luqman: 15)