THE PASSING OF ABAH

Abah is what I called my late father in law. He was a person with a strong personality and his presence would never go unnoticed. Through out my married life I have grown to love this man who was well reputed to not show his love and concern in the open but more in his gestures and in a diary (we only found this out after his demise).

Conversations and discussions with him can be a tad difficult at times but this was mainly due to his British education backgrounds having attained his basic degree in London , post-degree in Bristol and dip-ed in Kirkby, which caused him to frequently come up with archaic colonial ideas. None the less, there are topics which I find easily agreeable, a topic which he would rave on, that is, how practical and reasonable the British education system is or was, back then.

Abah had lived a long fulfilling life, just like his mother and his was a colorful one I daresay. Having a grand-father who was a warrior to the former Sultan of Pahang and a father who was a leader figure in Tembeling, Jerantut, Abah had no problem in continuing their legacy. However, Abah had to endure a relative difficult childhood as his father had died young , leaving behind a young wife, whom, due to some misunderstanding with her in laws, had decided to return to Kuantan, where her parents was, with her small son. Thus began, our renowned family saga of how Abah and his mother had traveled up the Pahang river on a small sampan for days, an embittered widow and an orphan who was clueless of what awaited him in Kuantan.

I know I am not the best person to write a bout Abah. I am writing bits and pieces of what he had oft-repeatedly told me. As I write I can still reminisce his voice, his gesticulations and his favorite phrase to reiterate his point: “Awak faham dok?’ or “Do you understand?’ when his British tongue got hold of him. After his heart bypass, Abah had sort of developed a coarse high pitched voice which stayed with him till his last breath. “Suara abah boleh baik tak Roza?’ “insyaAllah Abah tapi lambat sikit la’, I replied. During his final days, he phoned me to inquire about his hospital follow-up but I had difficulty in discerning his words. I knew it was exasperating for him and for me, too.

Whatever Abah lacked in bringing up his children, he squared it up on his grandchildren. He was a doting grandfather to my children, having looked after them when we were busy studying and working. Of late, he was so besotted with Hasya, hubby’s niece who lives in Kuching, that her phone-calls and home-coming would brighten his days. He waited eagerly for Hasya’s return few days ago, spent the night with her and breathed his last the next morning during his routine dialysis treatment. And I wonder if he had begged Allah swt to let him see his favorite grand daughter before he goes?

The morning that he would leave us, I had gone to fetch him for his routine dialysis. Due to a recent spine fracture, he was bed-ridden and couldn’t walk. We had to carry him from the room to the car. As I was lifting his body from the bed, he had held on tight to me a moment longer than usual. Was he trying to gesture his goodbye to me? Allahu’alam. I would like to think so.

Abah, forgive me for all the wrongs I have done you. May Allah swt bless your soul with His Rahmah and protect you from the fitnah of afterlife. Ameen.

*Abah passed away on Thursday 25th November at 11.20am. Innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun

with Hasya

in Bristol?

with his cousin, Sarah my eldest and Amir my youngest bro in law

THE BLESSED ARAFAH DAY

To all muslims, let's join in this global prayer event on Wukuf day on 16th Nov at about 6pm local time. It's also sunat to fast on that day.

SEE HERE FOR DETAILS---->

THE DISAPPEARING ADAB

My eldest is into her second year of housemanship, leaving behind a year of tumultuous life, if you could consider it being a ‘life’at all, that is. No, I won’t delve on the intricacies of its hardship as it is all so notoriously known. I am sharing with you the current sad state of many young muslim doctors, who have conveniently abandoned the adab of associating with colleagues of opposite sex during work or otherwise. Sadly, it seems they have adopted a lackadaisical attitude in this issue; slapping each other playfully, making indecent jokes etc. It’s as if, these rulings don’t apply once they enter the professional realm.

By western standards, once a girl gets a job, she would automatically become self-sustaining and live a separate life of almost total oblivion from her parents. In Islam, we know this should not be the way. We (hubby and I) have imposed a ruling on our daughter, to inform us of her whereabouts each time she plans on going out of the hospital vicinity and alhamdulillah , she is comfortable with and has been abiding by it till today. Also, permissions have to be asked if she plans to go out with friends. I know many would be aghast by this and many of her friends have voiced their disapprovals, “Come on, you’re already 25! You don’t need parental consent to go out!” To this, I told my daughter, “Tell them : As long as you are not married, your welfare is you father’s responsibility and you are answerable to him till he gives your hand for marriage”

Recently she related to me that a male colleague chummingly asked her to join them to the movies and when she answered that she has stopped going to the movies and even when she did, it would be with her brothers, he retorted back in an almost disgusted tone, “You are so boring!” To which my daughter replied nonchalantly, “Yes, I am. So what?”
My response was: It’s better to be ‘boring’ in this world and not in the Hereafter!

Once, she was out with a girl colleague and unknowingly to her, the friend had invited some male colleagues to join, much to my daughter’s chagrin! When they were deciding a place to eat, she narrowed down all suggestions as we always reminded her to eat in only registered Jakim halal eatery. For this, she was mortified and literally humiliated as they laughed and looked down on her choice of venues to eat. After the incident she has ticked the girl friend off and warned her not to repeat the blunder again!

To all my friends out there, whose children are about to step into the world of housemanship or any other profession for that matter, you can never be too excessive in reminding them of what awaits them out there. You may have provided them with the best of Islamic values but the day to day exposure to the rough and tumble of working life may weaken their ‘shield’, make them forget their real purpose in life and lead them astray. Nau’zubillah!

ALLAH SWT berfirman:

Dan jangan lah engkau menurut orang yang telah Kami lalaikan hatinya dari mengingati Kami, lalu ia mengikutkan hawa nafsunya.” (al-Kahf: 28)

ALLAH berfirman lagi:

Maka berpalinglah engkau dari orang yang tiada mempedulikan peringatan Kami, dan ia hanya menginginkan kehidupan dunia semata-mata”. (an-Najm: 29)

ALLAH berfirman lagi:

“Dan ikutilah jalan orang yang suka kembali (bertaubat) kepadaKu.” (luqman: 15)

Bila Hobi-Hobi Ku Di 'Hijack'

Mula-mula buku Ayat-ayat Cinta,
Bila membaca, aku terus terpikat,
Unik dan khusyuk jalan ceritanya,
Bila pegang, liat diletak,
Aku syorkan kepada suami ku,
Buku yang bagus perlu dikongsi,
Dengan orang yang dicintai,
Disangka buku cinta biasa,
Dia hanya pandang sebelah mata,
Berminggu jugak aku memujuk,
Namun dia tetap sangka ia pojok,
Satu hari, dia akur,
Dia baca, terus tersangkut,
Buku di usung ke mana-mana,
Lebih teruk dari aku,
Malah bait-bait cerita,
Yang sentuh hatinya,
Dijadikan bahan berdakwah,
Aya-ayat Cinta bagai kitab cinta baginya,
Aku dah lama lupa jalan cerita,
Namun tetap segar baginya.

Terbaru, aku cadang kita berbasikal,
Untuk riadhah dan kesihatan,
Lagi sekali, dia tidak tunjuk minat,
Buat 'dek', seolah tiada kesan,
Bila aku join FB GSM,
Hatinya mula berdehem,
Segala bentuk basikal dia siasati,
Kena pasti sebelum membeli,
Habis semua assessori dia amati,
Glove, lampu, seluar padded, topi,
Kini berbasikal tiada berhenti,
Mengalahkan aku yang hanya seminggu sekali,
On-road, off-road, semua dia sapu,
Dengan kadar dia mampu.

Itulah cerita bila hobi-hobi ku di'hijack',
Benar tetapi tetap pelik.

PESAGI REVISITED- A LEGACY TO HOLD ON TO

Tok Ki Salleh's house

We recently went to Pesagi, an old village in Chenor, Temerloh, where Tok Ki Salleh's dilapidated wooden house now rest in all quietness. A once grand traditional malay house which had witnessed countless family gatherings and activities, full of love and merriment, now stand sad amidst forlorn eeriness. Pesagi in essence is a river village where its houses line the high banks of Sungai Pahang. To access the river, one needs to negotiate the fairly steep slope down the bank to the sandy beach.

Sg Pahang

The house (side view)

Dear hubby has been lamenting about wanting to visit the village and the house, which he is so fond of, since many months ago, but I have literally been the reason for him to push the plan aside , each time. It is one of his 'bucket list' he said. My main qualm was because he wanted to take the alternative old, narrow 'kampong' road that is almost parallel to Sg Pahang instead of the new route. Once during an early monsoon period, we took that road in an impromptu effort, but had to turn back when part of the road was flooded, thus my fear.

This time, we had mistakenly took an early junction which we later found would not take us to Pesagi after all. Turning midway, we ended up taking the highway and exiting through Chenor and via the bridge across Sg Pahang to reach the other side of the river hence to Pesagi.

Inhaling the fresh cool air around, we partly went on foot and partly drove down memory lane of old Pesagi. Due to numerous ravaging monsoon floods that would submerge the whole village each time, most of the pioneers had left for better pasture across the river. The place is now very much deserted without much development and it is as if time had stood still, making it almost ghostly.

As I stood facing the poor abandoned house, I began rewinding back to the time where hubby was a small lad, having a ball of a time, roaming the village, scaling the small lane to the furthest end, frolicking in the cool water of Sg Pahang during the day and sleeping in the spacious hall of the wooden house, enveloped by the stillness of typical village night-life, amidst the constant sounds of crickets.

This old forgotten abode still retains its yellowish tint of paint which in better days must have been a bright fresh façade, making it one of the grandest building, around. According to hubby, it was the only house that had a TV set and on nights when there was malay movie on show, villagers would throng the house, creating a party-like atmosphere.

Sadly, now it stands alone, color all run down, empty and bare. Its compound, thick with undergrowth. From the careless opened windows, I managed to glimpse the dark empty inside and to think that this house once was filled with cheerful family activities!

We had scoured the village, trying not to leave any details. The cemetery where Tok Ki Salleh, his wife and various other kins, rest. The wide river, with sand banks appearing in shallow areas, was very inviting but alas we were not prepared for a river bathing spree. The school, perched on a hill. The jetty that harbors boats to ferry people across to Paya Pasir.

It felt good that we managed to return to a place that holds fond memories with those who have left us. Hopefully when our time comes, we can leave a better legacy for our children to hold on to.

Pic courtesy of Tariq Mahmood


pic courtesy of Zuber Hatia

The story