Thursday, April 27, 2006

ALL FOR THE LOVE OF OUR PARENTS

I am forever in awe of people who are willing to leave everything behind and become care-givers to an ailing parent. Last year, Ood’s mum became seriously ill and needed hospitalisation. Coincidentally she was in the midst of changing pastures with regards to her job. She was supposed to report to work on the week that her mom was ill. But she did what a fine daughter would do: applied leave without even starting work yet, thus taking risks of being sacked, on the sole purpose of being with her ailing mom! She took along her baby and left the bigger child with her very supportive husband, and headed down south to JB. All these with the disconcerting knowledge that she might be in the danger of losing her new job!

How many of us can do that? Leave behind our family and job to make ourselves free and available for the two people who had brought us into this world and nurtured us at their very best? The two souls whom Allah swt. had commanded us to obey and respect unconditionally.

Thus when my dad decided to undergo an operation to remove his goitre, here, I knew I had a big task. Eventhough the operation was fairly safe with minimal risks, mentally I was preparing for other probable outcomes. What if?...I asked.

Alhamdulillah , the surgery was uneventful. Muhammad had the opportunity to stand next to an unconscioused bapak and witness the operation for a full three hours! Yes, the surgeon had quite a feat trying to dissect the fairly large thyroid mass which has spread posteriorly as well. The surgeon remarked, “Is your grandfather a stubborn man? This is definitely a stubborn lesion to excise!!”

Speaking on the same note, Sarah, my eldest, had taken care of me, excellently, when I underwent 2 major ops in August 2004, which was a week apart. Sarah was an angel. She patiently nursed me and entertained my whims and whines, as I was in sheer agony! “Sarah, picit kaki mak!”, I would wake her up. And obediently Sarah starts massaging my sore legs but only to nod off seconds later, :p. For this, I can’t thank her enough!

Bapak and Mak are both still at my place till the weekend. I know this is a precious moment where I have the 2 dearest people in my life, near me. I know Bapak is rather uneasy as he prefers the comforts and familiarity of his own abode. But nevertheless, I hope these last few days that they are here will be good and meaningful for us. Come Saturday, I have to drive them back to KL as bapak is still not fit to drive and mak has long abandoned long distant driving.

To OOD, I salute you and hereby name you ‘Anak Mithali Of This Decade’. To Sarah, thank you for your patience and May Allah swt award you with caring children too!

25 comments:

mynn said...

unfortunately in the UK, the same thing cannot be said.

if you see in many of the hospitals, the some of elderly rarely gets any visitors. Many are abandoned at a residential home and most are ignored by their own children.

sad really.

Mama Sarah said...

Semoga cepat sembuh to your dad.

p/s: you ought dicalonkan as anak mithali too.

Queen Of The House said...

I hope I can be a good nurturer ...
I hope I can have the patience ...
I hope I can have the strength ...
I hope when the time comes, if I have to take care of my loved ones, I can do it.

I suppose taking care of our children is different from taking care of our parents. When the roles are reversed, we may feel a bit uncomfortable (or is there a better word for it?), we worry if we do it right, if we meet their expectations, if we can do it as well as they have taken care of us.

bergen said...

It's something I can't explain.

dr in the house said...

Mynn- I guess, that's the price people pay for 'modernisation'

Mama Sarah- I dont think I can be taken as one though I yearn to be!

QOTH-Nope we can never ever equal our parents' effort no matter how much we try to take care of them and I guess the same goes to our children.

Bergen- But you yourself are a good and patient care-giver!

pycnogenol said...

I'm so touched reading this entry. You're a good daughter to have taken care of your father. Can imagine how happy your father must feel to be treated and taken care of by his own doctor daughter.

Am just back from Penang, but will be going back to Kelantan tomorrow to visit my mother. Inspired by your entry.

ailin...in aalborg said...

As much as I would like the opportunity (and pahala) of taking care of ailing parents, I'd rather my parents live healthy and strong until the day they meet their Creator.
;D

crimsonskye said...

Praying that the children everywhere will be the qurratu 'ain to their parents. I'm forever in admiration for people like OOD and your daughter Sarah, both have that sheer love to make sure they'll put their parents before themselves.

Another thing I like about doctors is exactly what pycno has pointed out, they have the opportunity to treat their own ailing parents.

Izhal said...

hopefully my kids would grow up to be like Ood and sarah...

anggerik merah said...

Touched by yr entry. I agree with mamasarah pencalonan. I had been postponing writing about hw much my parent sacrify to help me manning my family back home. The only thing that I could od is pray that Allah bless them with good health and enjoy evry moment of their life. Thanks for sharing Dr Roza!

2wenty3hree said...

makes my eyes watery when reading things like this.

thank you for sharing.

ayumi_of_mirkwood said...

Salaam..
Nice entry... :) Makes me ponder of my own relationship with my parents...

drroza said...

Pycno- I still cant get over your solo trips of tiga hari dua malam....amazing!

Ailin- Of course that would be the ideal!

Crimson- there's however a downside to that. Being doctors, they expect miracles from you. As a matter of fact, it's advisable for doctors not to treat their own relatives simply because of some inevitable negative repercussions as you may 'over' or 'under' treat them.

izhal- ameen

AM- You're welcome!

23- How are you? :p

Ayumi- Insyallah you're a good daughter.

simah said...

i agree with drozza...and what a lucky mom u r to have such a sweet daughter like sarah..masyaAllah..

simah said...

ops..sorryii i meant i agree with aYUMi...

kenakelayan said...

I hope I can be a good daughter too..

Ku Keng said...

Oh now I envy all those of you having daughters!

Kak Teh said...

DITH, it is by chance that I came back here - just wondering where u are all these while. and this entry is so so rouching as it has some relevance to what is going on around me at this moment. It is going to be a long comment - my precious childminder who is more like a sister, has been operated on for brain tumour and they now found lung cancer. She is in good hands - but her husband already in wheelchair is now helpless without her. But the children have rallied round - It has taken a crisis like this to bring everyone together. The father was so unwillingt o let the daughter wash him but after three days succumbed and the daughter was almost in tears because the father has at alst trusted her and allowed her to wash him. She phoned me with the goodnews and we both cried. Yes, although we are in a society where caring is mostly paid, i believe they are still children who care.
The last few days I have seen how much the children have grown up and taken charge. Alhamdulillah.

I hope your parents are well. I will be going back in May to see my mum..not long enough a stay - but Insyaallah I will.

Em said...

Salaams

How I admire Ood...Put in the same place Im not sure I can do the same but you never know..

Anyway I hope your father is recovering well ..Do take care Dr...

OK said...

Dear all,

It is good that we still feel love for our parents. We may not know how much we have taken them for granted until it is too late.

Early this morning just after Subuh, my grand uncle Mohamad b Idris (Tok Su Mat), passed away. I was on the way to the plant (to attend to a problem) when i got the call.

Needless to say I did a U-turn and went back to pay my respects. Last month my Grand Aunt Tok De Nah (his older sister) passed away due to a similar illness (kidney related problems).

This means now there are only two living siblings left from my grandfather on my mother's side.

My grandfather was the oldest of seven, Tok De Nah his younger sister and Tok Chi Pandi his younger brother. The first three has the same father and mother. The other four had the same father but different mother.

Next came Tok Teh Ya, Tok Kiah, Tok Ki Hitam and Tok Su Mat. All have passed away except Tok Teh Ya and Tok Ki Hitam. Both are not in good health.

So my advise, don't be a stranger, cherish the time we spend with our family.

Regards

orangkilang said...

A small correction..

My grand uncle's full name is Osman b Idris.. we call him Tok Su Man... Su mat is my other relative..alhamdulillah so far still healthy

Regards

dr in the house said...

Simah- And Anne is lucky to have you as her DIL!

KKL- insyallah!

Keng- Didnt realize that this entry made it sound as though only daughters can be care-givers to their parents! :P

Kak Teh- I am currently on sbbatical leave from blogging :=)) thus I havent been blog-hopping much. Sorry to hear abot your childminders' cancer story. ALHAMDULILLAH they have good children to take care. May you have good quality time with your mum in May. Take care

Em- Thanks . Insyallah you'll be one!

ok- sorry to hear about the demise of your Tok Su Mat. Yes we have to take time to get to know our relatives and visit them when we can. Thanks. p.s. were you in KL last weekend?

NBB said...

wa caya sama lu la OOD!

hiyoshi said...

I still have a long, long way before obtaining the title of good son T_T

lifecuppa said...

Doc,
you have written a beuatiful post here!

Alhamdulillah your dad is recuperating well and congrats for Sarah too; insyaAllah all of us shall be blessed with anak2 soleh dan solehah. Ameen.

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