Saturday, February 16, 2008

OLD FRIENDS QUANDARY

They say a friend can make or break you. How true! All my life I've garnered friendships of all kinds, some being truly memorable, yet others were simply one-off acquaintances that never touched a chord. Being married to someone who deeply treasures friendship and still maintain them right through primary school days and with heaps of friends made via various organizations that he partakes in, I am privy of numerous good tales of special friends and also sad stories of friendships gone sour.

When we were overwhelmed with hubby's illness, last year, we came to realize that we had friends who really cared. Friends who would go the extra mile to make your day. Sincere friends with big hearts who simply mean the world to you (you know who you are!), these are the sort of people you'd love to be surrounded with, in sadness and happiness. We thank Allah swt, for bestowing us with such kind souls.

Sadly, all are not bed of roses. In the midst of all goodness, I have encountered unfortunate incidences that proved to be mind boggling, nevertheless. One is about hubby's very close buddy of yesteryears, a senior, whom he developed a strong camaraderie whilst involved in campus politics. In fact, when this friend had begun working, hubby continued visiting him, cementing the bond further. Later, due to work constrain, they lost touch. However, recently, few years ago, hubby chanced upon him in a big hotel, apparently attending an important political program of sort. He was in a great hurry, it seemed. Like all long lost acquaintances, hubby was overjoyed and ran to greet him. Alas, the joyous reunion was short-lived, when the friend didn't reciprocate hubby's jubilant excitement. he had to rush to an important meeting, he said and can't talk long. Still unperturbed by the lukewarm response (suam-suam kuku, as the malays says), hubby asked for his mobile number, to rekindle old friendship, perhaps. But heck, guess the guy's reply? He forgot his number!!! (Hey, kawan! Kalau tak nak beri, cakap tak nak. Tak payahlah beri alasan tak diterima dek akal!) I believe the guy is now holding a high post in the government and holds a datuk title even, but does that warrant him to discard old unimportant kuchirats like us??

Another close friend of hubby, also now a datuk gave us a similar cold treatment. This friend, who is now a renowned proponent of some big issues (sorry I have to be cryptic here, lest you savvy guys out there could guess the person easily) and holds the helm of an NGO body, happens to frequent the same mosque with my dear dad. One morning, dad pointed out to us, the friend's big double story luxury bungalow with a black BMW parked in front(I need to exaggerate to be dramatic!), when we passed by it. As I knew hubby was very close to him, I perked up and coaxed hubby to make an impromptu visit (yes, me and my big plans!). Thus we went visiting and oh boy, did we regret doing it in the first place! We rang the doorbell. First, the maid came out. Then the Datuk's mum. Datuk was upstairs, taking his bath. We chose to stay outside, hubby at the gate, the rest in the car. 10 minutes passed, still no sign of Datuk. Finally after a very long wait, we got the drift and told his mum to just send our salam to him! Up to this day, we are still baffled by the incident and gave all sorts of positive reasons to why he made us wait. In Islam, you're not supposed to have bad suspicions of others, what more to an old good friend. Perhaps, he was down with a bad headache or maybe he can't recall having a friend by hubby's name. Hmmm...anyway....

I could go on and on. About an old friend who when inquired by another, can't remember hubby at all and to think think that hubby was his best man at his wedding!! Sheesh!

Really, I would personally be submerged with joy and excitement should I have the fortuity to meet old long lost friend. I would hug them and maybe shed a tear or two, depending on my hormonal level then, :)). Then I'd bombard them with 101 questions to update myself about them. And oh! I'd give my mobile, house and even my office numbers. No, I won't pretend to have sudden amnesia to suddenly forget my handphone number! Yes, that's how happy and gleeful I'd be!

We've learned our lesson. Old friends may not be as cool as they once were.......

13 comments:

Has said...

He he Roza, ramai orang tak ingat nombor talipon sendiri tau! Tapi boleh ambil kawan punya talipon dan buat missed call. Itu yang jenis lupa dan ikhlas.

Kalu terdatang ke kampung saya, dan jika ring gate bell, tak dak respon, sila talipon la. Gate bell dah banyak di pasang, budak2 kampung buat lepas geram kat tuan punya rumah, hari-hari gi tekan..rosak dan tak larat nak ganti dah.

OK said...

ini mesti case haji labu.. orang kaya baru... kapal haji tak berlayar lagi pun dah jadi haji... hehehe..

Any way, kawan macam tu memang tak patut digelar kawan... what comes around comes around I always believe and these kind of people will see the day.

Queen Of The House said...

DITH ... last year I was contacted by friends from primary school who found me thru my blog. We later met at a reunion for our batch which was excitedly arranged and it seemed that many of them had not seen one another for a long,long time too - some since leaving school.

Earlier this year I got in touch with another friend from secondary school whom I had not seen since leaving in 1979 .... and from there managed to meet up with a few more friends. Syoknya, it was like we were teenagers all over again! It was a very exciting moment.

Having rekindled old friendships surely enhances your life. Actually it is easier to be friends at this age than it was way back then.

Anonymous said...

At least i know that I wont be receiving cold treatment from you. Mana-lah tau kot ikelah dan kak roza appear dlm suratkhabar for some good reasons.Masani I tell you those "friends" will surely remember you.

easylady

dith said...

Has- Memang ramai yg terlupa nombor telephone sendiri termasuk ler saya, hehe, dah masuk era pelupa ni.But there are hundreds of ways to show you care. Insyallah ada rezeki pergi Kubang Kerian, saya akan call dulu takpayah ler tekan loceng, :p

OK- Hai gang! Terkezut beruks nampak awak buat komen nih! Anyway hope we wont get Haji Labu's as friends!

qoth- Yeah i heard about your reunion. Good for you! Hubby too had his primary school reunion few yrs ago (ABS Mentakab)and it was fun to see how they blend together mcm adik beradik!

Easylady- Insyallah you know we will never give you the cold treatment, :))

Jamil said...

Now I feel bad about myself. I'm one of those people who sincerely do not have a clue in what to say when old friends come up to greet me - although my case isn't that bad as to acquire spontaneous amnesia when asked for my mobile phone number!

Then again, not that many people do come up to greet me in the first place. Perhaps because I don't have that many friends?

simah said...

at times being on top dia lupa nak tengok bawah dah...dah tak pijak tanah dah... but then..u dont need these people kan? u have plenty more wonderful friends out there...


bye eh way akak..whatz ur phone number? i think i may have lost it... nak siapkan list no sebab bila balik mesia nanti at least nak cuba call saja nak sembang :0)

simah said...

by the way...u have been tagged hhehehe ops..

dith said...

Jamil- simple je...just imagine your old friends as one of your treasured digital gadgets: iPod,Palm Treo, Nikon D3...then you'll be able to smile your sincerest smile to them

Simah- Bila nak balik ni? I'll email my number to you. The Tag, nanti satu hari..hehe

anggerik merah said...

DITH,

Old fren macam tu really break ur heart..anyway..ramai lagi old fren yang treasure the friendship.

Has said...

Roza, template kamu dok tengah perimenopausal ker? ha ha ha.

dith said...

AM- ditto! Btw, how are you?

Has -Bukan periM, dah postM pon! :))

Ku Keng said...

My definition of friend is one who would remind me always of my duties to Allah, visit me when I am sick, attend my funeral, carry the bier, and walk me to the grave.

One who would only think of the good that I have done and forgive me of my errs.

Those that Azmi met are acquaintances.

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