Saturday, December 02, 2006

Madams Are From Mars and Maids Are From Venus.

I have been maid-dependent for almost all of my married life. And Alhamdulillah unlike some unfortunate people, I have been bestowed with a 'lasting' maid that stayed with me for 15 years. She has helped me raised all my five kids and performed only mandatory house-chores. Meaning that she doesn't do cars like most maids whom I would see scrubbing their employer's cars in the wee hours of the morning. And she doesn't do the cats' poo either. But still she was there to help me with the necessary mundane nitty-gritty of running the house and family. I speak of her in the past-tense because as for now she is back with her sister's in Selangor and from there she'll be embarking on a return journey back to her hometown in Sumbar (Sumatera Barat).

It's not that I don't need her anymore to hold my fort. As a matter of fact with my current erratic working schedule, I need her presence more than ever. But there are various culminated reasons that had tipped the balance and which finally sort of forced me to 'let her go'. I know it was hard for her to leave us as she has become a part of our family. Thus I have set her options opened. Should she find that it is no longer feasible for her to adapt herself back to her previous lifestyle, she's always welcomed to stay back with us.

One of the main reasons for me to go without a domestic helping-hand temporarily is to train the young ones to be more independent of their 'ibu'. Yes, 'ibu' is the name we gave her. I hope that the coming few months, in the absence of ibu, will make my family and I, stronger and more capable of domestic ingenuities. I, especially wish that we will be more apt in time and chore management.

No doubt, managing a house is hard work but alhamdulillah I am slowly gaining momentum and retrieving back the familiarity of my own kitchen. You see, I had given ibu full liberty of managing the house-hold as I believe such a 'pact' promotes a better working condition for her. There's no denying that at times, due to the liberal amount of freedom I gave her in the house-hold, she occasionally crossed the boundary and 'stepped on my feet'. But usually I would just brush it off. Heck, if she works better in her prefered environment, let her be! Frankly, I am currently feeling a tad relieved without ibu around. It's almost like getting a new lease of freedom in my own house.

I hope I can emulate many working mothers who are also excellent house-keepers. We'll see how it goes. It's only a week since she left. So far the kitchen is still spick and span (in my own standard, that is) but the laundered clothes are piling up, waiting to be folded and kept away!

May I persevere! Insyallah!


(1) To Nusayba (23-24), I pray you'll go through your Hajj journey with great diligence, filled with humbling experience. May Allah swt bestow Hajj mabrur to you and your parents. Ameen.

(2) KKL's sister Mak-twain has started an online business here . I am in great awe of her ability to juggle her time doing her Phd, looking after her newborn twins and now doing an online business. Setting up a food-relating business like pastry-cake making has been my secret future plan of an endeavour. So Mak-twain, please consider a future liaison with me eh?


Em said...


Hope that it works out in the end Dr..Im very sure you can cope Insyallah!

easylady said...

patutle lama tak update.Kalau tiada anak kecil rasa hatitu memang tak mau ada maid.

The first few weeks mebbe there will be a few glitches here and there but once you've got the momentum, it will be smooth sailing.

good luck and happy sailing.

Mama Sarah said...

"still spick and span"

my respect to you. I'm a full time homemaker, tapi tetap tunggang terbalik.

re:Mak Twain. bagus betul usahanya.

maklang said...

maklang kalau tak kerja pun nak ada maid. tak live-in pun oklah. maybe bila budak2 dah boleh jaga diri in-between sekolah pagi and petang tu, tak payah ada live-in maid ok kot...tapi entahlah tu

Formaggio + Alia said...


mynn said...

bie kita nak maid jugak tak bie? interview sapa yang buat?

nice insight to your home management system.

i have to say i'm very impressed with mak twain's business endeavour. i'm so impressed she's starting a business despite her very busy schedule and an internet one at that. one comment boleh ke? mak twain: the front page of a website is very important and i think it's important that you'd be able to convey EVERYTHING about your business concisely on the first page. probably pictures or a banner of all the various cakes you sell would convey the idea?

however, i love the simplicity of the site, good luck with your business.

ler..... i finally got the pun in the name "mak twain" = "mak twins".

Has said...

Ahh, that sense of freedom, he he he, I can really emphatise. Actually, I found that ironing is very relaxing, and moping the whole house is a moderate aerobic exercise, mine 4,100 sq ft. I had also dismissed the lady who came regularly to clean the house while I was under treatment.

But nothing like standing like a tree.

Azer Mantessa said...

this entry is a must read to those married couples to be and a reminder to those who have undergone the same process.

dith said...

Em- Insyallah! Thanks for the reassurance.

Easylady- Awok mana boleh tak dak maid. Jo nak anak 12 orang kan? :p

Nisak- as I said it was of my own standard. Kalau my mom's std, kira dah masuk kategori tongkang pecah kot, hehe

Maklang- Rumah maklang kena pakai maid sbb luas bebenor. Mujur ler ada Pak Omar jaga laman, :p

formaggio & Alia- kalau abg Muhammad tak buat attachment next week, balik ler dulu, pastu dia kena pergi semula la.

mynn- aik pakai maid pon kena interview ke? Mcm Mrs Doubtfire jek, hehe. Re Mak twain= mak twin, awok ni Mynn memang blur tahap maximum, :p

has- yes ironing can be relaxing but can also cause RSI to the elbow, hehe. I love mopping too, hehe especially the after effect feeling of cleanliness! Yes standing motionless like a tree probably burns more calorie, hehe

azer- you must be maidless too huh?

azer mantessa said...

we r my own maidens ... hehehe ... relatives call it ... the budgeted family :D

a. kids are more independent
b. better home security
c. everybody learn to delegate works ... ahaks

it has been 9 years now.

Mama Sarah said...

itulah pasal DITH. Mynn nak maid yang cantik2. Memang nak kena luku dengan mak dia sendiri.

Mynn: comments on mak-twain's website tu, among others i was thinking about info regarding the ingredients used. ie, bahan pengawet, all halal sources? and expiry date/ berapa lama boleh tahan?

These are some of the infos i would look for as a consumer. We want them to buy with confidence.

dith said...

Azer- Yes I envy those who cope without maids and still manage to keep a clean house. ALhamdulillah you've managed for 9 yrs, :p Btw- apesal Azer berkomunikasi dgn mantessa? Hope not an early sign of schizophrenia, nauzubillah, :p

Nisak- Wah..nak maid cantik ye? Silap haribulan maid duduk ngadap cermin solek diri, awok yg kena buat kerja, hehe. Takper kita boleh tolong luku sekali!

misoSoup said...

DITH - You reminded me of sth.. While you have laundered clothes piling up, I have an awful lot of UNlaundered ones that have been left for days, waiting to be attended to...
"Aiyah, why Sunday has to come so fast!?"

Pity 'Uqail was warded last Friday, due to phlegm in the lungs...

Lets spare some du'as for 'Uqail's recovery, and the rest of the family's steafastness...

Go go Mak Twain! Chaiyok!!!

(The news only arrived here in Sheffield this morning! ...huhu ada yg nak kena nih)

dith said...


Insyallah Uqail's condition is nothing worrying. It's probably bronchiolitis. With a doting auntie like you, he'll get fine soon enough.
Wahh..takutnya=> siapa ler yg nak kena tu? Cik Ma ke? hehe

So how's everything?

Ku Keng said...

Puan DITH,

I am glad you called her maid. I really can't stand those calling them 'servants'. Little do they know that if they were indeed servants, their husbands would have unlimited rights on them!

Selamat bertugas.

hiyoshi said...

This is so like what happened to me eight years ago. Our maid left us to get married, and I was left to take care of the household.

Throughoput the years, I've learnt to spring clean, wash the dishes, do the laundry (and hang them outside too), and also organise foodstuff in the kitchen.

However, I still haven't gotten the hang of sweeping the floor and folding the clothes. Can never do a satisfactory job at that.

23-25 said...

assalamu'alaikum dith, jzklh for the end note there. do you think its too much for me to still be blogging? ;)

as for house-help, all the very best. having a spic span house is hardly an easy task without help, but im sure things will go smoothly for you and your family. like you, my mother and i would feel the utmost freedom when we have the house to manage ourselves (way back, one of my aunt used to stay with us).

do take care. ill be flying on the 18th of december insyaAllah.

dith said...

Keng- maids should be treated as a family member (minus the hubby's unlimited rights of course! hehe)

Hiyoshi- good for you! Appreciate all the ability you have garnered from, after your parents decide to go sans maid. And your dad once said that your mom was like me: we can't control our maids and at times we exchanged places with our maids, hehe

23-25- You've got approx 2 weeks more to go. Yes it's time to un-blog, :p. Focus 100% on the coming endeavor. As iKelah had told me when we did our Hajj, once you embark on Hajj, focus completely, forget about other responsibilities. He even forbade me from calling home immediately after reaching Mecca much to my 'naive' chagrin back then. Take care!

onde said...

salam to doc in the house...our household need maid now..after our first time on feb 2005 till march 2006 and now maid less, with 4 kids yang tengah membesar, I found it hard to juggle housechores and concentrate on kids. Me being cranky pun ya jugak..that with hubby's help, kalau dia langsung tak menolong, memang den sasau dah performance pun drop banyak sebab I cant concentrate one to so happened currently workload for hubby at the office banyak giler..sekarang tengah usyar agent la ni..wish me luck! to have the same maid for 15 years! I cant imagine that! May be lepas anak2 dah pandai and independent..tak perlulah maid lagik..

*run to click the marktwain link*

pycnogenol said...

I can almost hear Ikelah's sigh of relief. After 15 long years, at last Ikelah is free to roam the house shirtless, and flex his Malek Noor's muscles. ;)

P/S Enjoy Ikelah...before the maid decides to come back!!

dith said...

Onde dear- Kalau anak kecil2 lagi, you memang perlu maid. Janji dapat yang boleh harap la! Good luck!


ikelah said...

hahaha... that was what i did when we arrived home with only of us dith, maman and me.

malek noor muscles? no lah. hehehehe. pycno yang 6 packs.

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