Sunday, July 30, 2006

KITE FLYING ANYONE?


Raising up children has been aptly likened to flying a kite. When I first heard of this analogy, I was a bit baffled, though. My small mind couldn't comprehend the validity of it, then. Now, after years of bringing up my already grown-up children, with all the complex intricacies, I can now unfeignedly appreciate and vouch the utter truth in it.

Have you tried flying a kite before? On a good, windy day, flying a kite can give one a feeling of sheer exhiliration. It is an art of its own, flying a kite, that is. It has to be done in an open field with minimal obstacles to prevent tripping, as you need to run back and forth to maneuver it. Essentially, a successful kite-flying is a necessary balance between sufficient wind and proper handling of the string attached to the kite. The amount of string to be released or pulled back is crucial. If too much of the string is released from your grip and should the wind suddenly opt to cease blowing or change it's direction, you'd lose control and the kite might plunge to the ground miserably. This is where the crux of the analogy lies. When raising a teenager, there are times you need to exercise a certain amount of liberation and give him/her leeway in making decisions. Exessive control over then would just cause them to retaliate and teenage angst would surely sever the bond between child and parent, inevitably.

Once, the kite has reached good heights and is soaring magnificently up high, very much like a care-free preying eagle, one has got to be able to 'sense' the wind pattern. The ability to judge the wind-flow and the prowess to maneuver the string with fluid agility and savvy anticipation, would promise blissful, long and persistent moments of kite-flying satsifaction. Thus there will be times when the kite-flyer would sense a sudden change in the wind and he/she needs to pull back a certain amount of the string, to prevent the kite from plummeting. Similarly, whilst allowing your teenage child a certain amount of freedom in decision-making, you still need to monitor them and intervene when the need arises. Guidance is crucial. Giving firm advice is mandatory. Good teenage parenting would entail listing out ideas and options and providing them with sound opinions. A confused teenager when properly guided will (Insyallah) grow into a fine adult. Whilst a fine teenager when left astray will invariably succumb to all sorts of life 'mishaps'. Many a times, we've heard of so-and-so who were excellent students at school only to later in life, involve themselves in common vices like drugs, prostitution and such. These are the possible adverse life-indulgence that some teeangers chose to take and as parents we must be expeditious in our actions to curb such undesirable situations. May Allah swt. protect our children from them, ameen!

When too much of the kite-string is being pulled back, it would result in a non-exciting 'show'where the over-cautious kite-player would maintain a mediocre and boring, low flying kite, afraid of taking risks. Hence, the same goes for the said analogy. If one exercise excessive control on their teenaged children, they would often grow into meek adults who can't think and decide for themselves or worst still, they could even become indecisive, weak, dithery souls who can't cope with real-life responsibilities.

Now, as I sit back and watch my grown-up kids, I ponder if I have flown the 'proverbial' kite successfully? Each time I see a flaw or weakness in their character (not that I have none, mind you!), I'd question myself if I had pulled or let go too much of the string? Or perhaps, I should have used a different kind of string altogether? :-) No matter what, i pray that all the kites that I have flown will persistently soar with great determination whatever the wind conditions may be. As parents, the bulk of onus is on us as to how our kids turn out to be.

As our beloved Rasulullah s.a.w. had said in the Hadeeth: Every newborn is like a piece of white cloth. It's their parents who raise them up as Jews, Christians or Majusi.

242 comments:

1 – 200 of 242   Newer›   Newest»
mynn said...

Excellent article dith!!! probably my favourite yet out of all your writing so far.

btw, this is the second time ive heard the word "onus" (stiffling .... laughter ... hard.... not ... to .... laugh....) what does it mean?

mynn said...

ps
gambar lukis sendiri ke (... again.... trying ... not ... to ... laugh ....) :X

ufukhati said...

dr.,

I agree and I like to add :

Swim on the wind,
fly in the air,
both need patience.

dr in the house said...

Mynn-

:p....*drroza rolls eyes, looking at red-faced Mynn snorting whilst stiffling a strong laughter* Ketawa Mynn, jgn tak ketawa. As laughter is the best medicine, I hope you've got a good dose! hehe.

Gambar tu telah menang pertandingan lukisan kategori bawah 5 tahun, tiga tahun berturut2! Jgn pandang serong!


Darma Mohammad-

Yes patience is the essence!
With tears flowing abundantly,
As child-rearing is a great shouldered responsibility,
Never to be taken lightly.

easylady said...

beberapa tahun lagitu untuk saya.. sekarang tengah sibuk kejar depa dan goncang botol susu hehehe..

crimsonskye said...

From a kite's point of view:

Thank you for everything. Like a song goes, "I'm soaring through the air, but you're my solid ground. And I know you'll be there when I come back down." :)

maklang said...

Saya pun masih jauh lagi. Masih nak kena ketuk baru nak buat kerja or else layang2 tu kalau tak ditunjuk ajar akan jadi layang2 yang putus talinya Dr. Tak tentu arah tujuan....

anggerik merah said...

DITH, beautifully written! I have forgotten how to play kite...In my my mind relecting how to teach yet to be teenager son.

dr in the house said...

Easylady- :p...awak lebih banyak layang2 wei! hehe. Tgh bayang satu tangan pegang 6 tali layang2 sekaligus!

Crimsonskye: :-) Solid ground eh!

maklang- Betul tu ...naya kalau layang2 putus tali...bahaya!

AM- 7 yrs time?

Queen Of The House said...

DITH, I will keep in mind these words as I fly my four kites :-)

Mama Chops said...

dith,
Honestly, I have never flied a kite. But I do agree that to fly my 'four kites' is NO EASY JOB. It is horrifying to read about other peoples 'kite' who did not fly the way it should be.

Em said...

Salaams Dr

I truly believe that it is true mistakes that we learn as we gain experience and awareness

pycnogenol said...

Just as I thought I have learnt and mastered the art of kite-flying, somehow or rather, one or two of my kites will just go astray. One is even insisting that I let go off the string, just so that it can soar higher up in the sky.

I used to think that kite-flying is meant for those who have nothing better to do, only to realise now, that kite-flying is one important full-time job. ;)

Boogey said...

Reminds me of a Turkish movie in late 80`s. The title is "Ucurtmayi Vurmasinlar" meaning "Don`t let them shoot the kite". One of the film I remember well after so many years.

mynn said...

dith and pycno
bila nak tambah kites?

mynn said...

to KKL
are we going to see your kites soon? i bet within a year!

dr in the house said...

QOTH- you'll do fine insyallah

Mama Chops- Yes that is one genuine fear amongst mothers.

Em-Yes Em. Learning through mistakes is one valuable life experience, if you learn form them, that is!

Pycno- I think I know which particular kite of yours that insist you let go off the string..must be the gigantic wau bulan with heavy tassles all over..hehe...hok tu kena pakai tali tangsi grade A ...hehe

Boogey- Wonder what that movie is all about eh?

Mynn- :P

kenakelayan said...

DITH and Mynn

:D InshaAllah bi iznillah. Kites are a lot of fun, and also hard work! But am quite looking forward to having some..

dr in the house said...

H the Manis,

A dozen kites would do you good!

NBB said...

never able to kites-flying. bukan senang tu..

Boogey said...

DITH,
The movies is about jangan tembak layang layang.
Actually about 2 small kids who grew up together in a prison sebab mak masing2 masuk jail kes jenayah. One of them keluar awal sebab mak dah habis sentence. Yang sorang lagi 4 or 5 years old dah tak de kawan. In a day ada a few hours when they allow prisoners into the coutyard and 1 day budak ni nampak a kite soaring high. Dia beranganlah kite tu sebagai penghubung antara dia dengan kawan dia and also the outside world. Everyday dia tengok kite tu, bila tak de, dia sibuk tanya orang ada nampak tak and the adventure goes on. Until one day ada guard dengki, tembak kite tu jatuh and with that goes his imaginary freedom.

dr in the house said...

Nurul- Betul tu!

Boogey- Wow how poignant! I can imagine that the movie is a slow moving one with lots of heavy dialogues and facial expressions. Surprised to know you watch such stuff when you-know-who is so much into actions and aggression sort of movie. He has now got Sofi hooked on 24!

One more, I dont know how some ppl love watching Kill Bill so much...there's so much violence in it!! *rolls eyes*

ayumi said...

Salaam..
Had a good time reading this.. macam ada tips2 untuk masa depan.. hehehe.. I'm sure you're a great mom.. seeing how great your kids are ;)

someone said...

flying our kids are more like flying jumbo jets

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