Thursday, November 17, 2005
From A Mother To Her Son
I am afraid I have done undue injustice to my eldest son by associating the term metrosexual with him. Eventhough I did it in jest, I sense his dislike and hurt. Thousand apologies Muhammad! I didn't mean to put you in bad light.
Muhammad is my third offspring and my first boy. So after two girls, it was a relief to find that I finally gave birth to a boy! You see, I come from a family of all girls and I was getting worried that I might follow the same trend. Besides, I had this feeling that ikelah's family was also getting 'fidgety' eventhough no words were spoken in the open. Since both of us are the eldest, it's a natural misconception that we needed at least a boy to 'carry' the family's name, so to speak. But we all know that is not true!
His birth was somewhat special. It was the day for my final clinical professional exams and I was 38 weeks , heavily pregnant with Muhammad. Thought I could go through exams without any hitch. But that was not to be. Early in the morning I detected the first 'show'. I cried! I prayed to Allah swt that everything would be ok. I restricted my movements so as not to accelerate the labour. My exam was in the afternoon. 2 hrs prior, I started having contractions. Mild ones.
I walked slowly to the ward and started examining my patient for the exam. The kind patient commented "you're feverish, are you ok?" I just smiled. The contractions were getting stronger and the lapse shorter. I kept my cool. I had Prof Khalid and an Australian Paediatrician as my examiners and despite my condition, I did well, alhamdulillah. Inside I was burning! Imagine, I was in labour, pain and everything but I had to control or I would lose out! Once over, I almost ran! Ikelah rushed me to Pusrawi and I gave birth to Muhammad an hour later! Phew! Never mind that I got a lashing from the Obstetrician for doing the 'stunt'. I was relieved that the baby was safe! But with a small price though! As I had not prepared the few hours prior to labor in the usual manner, instead of lying down I was standing and delaying the birth to a certain extent, and Muhammad was already 'drilling' his way through the birth canal, this caused him to develop a small 'cephalohematoma' on his scalp! Sorry Muhammad! Could this be the cause of him to be mildly dyslexic when he was small? Wallahu'alam.
Having Muhammad was a great joy! I loved him so much that I even said this once, "I will still continue to love him as much, or perhaps even more, even if I get more children". When I was having a rough time emotionally he protected me in his childish way. You see, as I was still studying, my late MIL (may Allah swt bless her soul) helped me bring up my 2 eldest girls. For this I can't thank her enough. Both MIL and FIL were of great help and they helped ease my burden tremendously. But of course, there was bound to be frictions between us as it involved emotions of love between a doting grandma and her 2 grandchildren. Muhammad helped me through this tumultous period . His caring presence gave me hope that I could still be a good mother. And for that I thank him.
My momentous time with Muhammad would be when I accompanied him to get his SPM results and he turned out to be the best student of his school. Words can't describe the glorious feeling that flowed in my veins that day and that feeling persisted for days! I was in cloud nine! To quote 'kenakelayan' who jokingly asked me ' so are you putting on that silly grin still?' Maybe I was, but who cares how silly I looked! I was simply elated.
Now that he is turning into a fine adult, at times, like all adolescents, he tends to do things that incites the worrying old me. The slightest wrong he does, hurts me. At times like these, I'd reminisce the days that he was the apple of my eye, comforting my injured soul, helping me lick my wound. Those were the days....
To Muhammad, thank you for sticking by me eventhough you were too young to understand anything.You've been my saviour through thick and thin. And remember that I will always be there for you too!
p.s. ever had the experience of crying whilst reading your own writing? This one did ....